Closer To Fine

I spent this morning rewriting my prologue for What Luck. I think it's better now - I'll probably fine-tune it some more, but it's getting closer to the way I want it. Closer to fine, to borrow a phrase from the Indigo Girls.
I read the whole 15-page prologue at our WWG meeting last night. I don't really like reading aloud - it makes me feel breathless - but I'm getting used to it. I never realize how long a piece I've written is until I've read it out loud. Last night, my 15 pages seemed to take forever to read! But everyone liked it, and they all gave me great criticism and suggestions.
I have a flashback scene in the beginning of the prologue, and I was concerned about it being too long. It was almost 3 1/2 pages long, and seemed to break up the actual prologue scene too much. Everyone agreed that I could cut it, especially two long paragraphs of exposition. Too much telling, and not enough showing. So today, I cut out those two flashback paragraphs, and wrote the information into a dialogue between the two characters in the prologue, as Michelle suggested. It works much better.
Also, Lisa mentioned that some of the subject matter in the flashback might not be something that would interest 'tweens and young teens. I think some of it is important to the story, so now I've skimmed over it, rather than put the focus on it.
Rich said I should be careful with the vocabulary, and make sure it's age-appropriate, so I changed some of the longer, bigger words to words that are more simple and direct. He also suggested that I keep in mind the things that kids are most interested in. So I'm really trying to channel my inner 13-year-old as I'm writing this story.
There were several things they liked. Lisa said the beginning sentences drew her in, and she liked the vivid details. Rich said he loved the metaphors, and thought parts of it were funny. He said the writing was very natural. Michelle really liked where I placed the space breaks between scenes - she loves to leave readers hanging so they'll keep going. They all said my characters seemed real, and they liked the premise of the story. And they encouraged me to keep it up.
So I'm going to e-mail them the newest version, to see how they like the changes. I really like getting feedback from my peers - it helps me to be a better writer. Thanks, guys - I really appreciate your comments!
Everyone else is making progress, too. Rich finished his short story, and read it from the middle scenes to the end. Wow - some powerful stuff. He wants to rewrite it, and then submit it to the literary magazine market. I really think it's got a good shot at being published. Lisa has gone back to the novel she wrote and finished last November, for the National Novel Writer's Month (NaNoWriMo) project. She said the book is about 99,000 words - it amazes me that she can write so much in just one month, and this is the third NaNoWriMo novel she's written! And now she's going to rewrite it. She read the prologue to us - it's great. Very intriguing. Michelle said she's up to page 83 of her rewrite of her middle-grade children's book. She's determined to finish it in time for the SCBWI conference, and I know she'll do it. This book has so much potential, and I hope she can meet the right people who will read it, and give it a chance.
Tomorrow, Michelle and I are going to attend the monthly SCBWI meeting at the b.s. Every time they've met, I've haven't been able to sit in on the meetings, because I've had to work. But I'm still on vacation, so now I'll be able to go. I'm really looking forward to it. I'll write about the meeting in my next post.